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Cody Decker ... minor league baseball player for the San Diego Padres organization went down due to an unfortunate ankle injury. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him ... we have the technology. We can make him stronger ... faster... well, we can make him stronger... We can make the world's first bionic man ... but, we are not going to spend a lot of money ... roughly $1000 before taxes .... $638 after (depending on what state you are in). Yes, this is the tagline to the new spinoff series I'm trying to pitch to NBC. Calling it the "$638 Man"..... I can't imagine why they aren't returning my calls. A lot of rumors floating around out there, so let me be the first to clear them up. No, I am not dead. I did however get put on the 7-day disabled list with a right ankle sprain. I hurt it just off the bag at 1st base trying to beat out a groundball. I actually am quite relieved to be honest with you. It could have been a lot worse. Granted, when I sprained it I took a nasty spill. I have a road rash on my left arm and a bruise on the top of my nose (from the bill of my helmet when my head whiplashed on the ground), the injury is still minor in comparison to what it could have been.Don't think for a second I'm happy in any way. This is my first time on the DL and what can I say other than it is complete agony to not be able to play. I am rehabbing the hell out of this, because I want to get back as SOON as possible. With that in mind, I also know I have to be smart about it, because ankles aren't exactly the joint you want to mess around with. I need to make sure I am ready to go before I do something stupid (me? Do something stupid?). And yes, I know what you're thinking: "Cody, Daniel LeruSso didn't let a little leg injury keep him out of the karate tournament". Yes, person making outlandish comparisons, I agree with you. But Daniel Leruso was able to fall back on his secret weapon: The crane kick. Something that is very difficult to do in the while at the plate (But if Johnny from the Cobra Kai was pitching in a skeleton costume, I think I'd have to try?). And plus, I don't have a Mr. Miyagi handy at the moment. I do, however, have my hitting coach Tom Tornincasa (Torney), so I suppose that's kind of close. Torney does have him beat in the mustache department. And that, people, you can agree, is no easy task.Before I tell you more about my injury, I think it is only fair that I tell you a little bit about Torney. I don't care what anyone says about him ... I think he's a good hitting coach. Torney and my relationship consists of us just giving each other hell. If you are lucky enough to be close to us during these fun rampages, you are in for gold. Now, we may say horrible things to each other all the time, but I am very fond of Torney and he is a great hitting coach. These are 2 statements that I would never say to his face. And I know for a fact he would never read my blog so I feel very comfortable that, in no way, my thoughts of good will toward him will ever get back to him. Yep, bullet dodged...... I also know that Torney loves me. This is something he would never say to my face ... my back ... or to anyone he knows or ever met. But I know it in my gut. And, as you know, I'm like a cop from the 1950's. I live on hunches and going with my gut (my gut is never wrong 34.7% of the time). Don't know about you, but I like those odds. Living dangerously, who wants me on their corporate team?!Now, back to my ankle being 11 times oversized. Have you ever had an ankle sprain? It is not fun. It affects just about everything you do. And I didn't receive any pain medication, so sleep has been, oh how do I put it ... OUT OF THE QUESTION! Treatment has been a crucial part of my life because, as I mentioned before, I want to get back on the diamond. Unfortunately this injury has created a little more downtime. And since I am on the road at the moment, there is no movie theater for me to waste my time in. Twitter on the other hand has received a considerable amount of action from me. Having my creative juices flowing and asking the tough questions that others are afraid to ask. (Like: "Could Rosie from the Jetson's and Vicky from Small Wonder's unite to form some sort of housekeeping Voltron?") These were the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools. Thank god this site didn't exist before I went to UCLA cause if they read what I say, they may have reconsidered their acceptance. "We're about to let this lunatic in?" YouTube has received a lot of my attention, as has CNN and the Huffington Post. Anything that passes the time before I head to the field.The team in San Antonio is still doing their thing. What a team! The guys are still hitting like they do. James Darnell constantly retaining his title of "Greatest Player Alive". And our pitching has been top notch. This is a team I am very lucky to be a part of. We are missing one guy, and I'd just like to mention how happy and proud I am of Blake Tekotte getting called up to the big leagues. He is a great player and a great guy. He was also voted second best hair on the team in San Antonio (I wasn't mentioned in that category ... RECOUNT!). In closing, I would like to say don't worry to anyone who may be worried about the injury. I am hard at work taking care of it the right way. I will be back on that field very soon. And I can't wait. I've only been down for four games and I have never wanted to play so bad in my life. Make sure you follow me on Twitter (@Decker6) for those great thoughts that keep me up at night and watch out for that TV show the "$638 Man", if NBC ever returns my calls.Keep Swinging It,-DeckPhoto: allygirl520, Creative Commons
Can the Doctor put some stolen base speed in that body?