Wedding Season: What to Expect (and How to Get Through It)

Wedding season is an overwhelming time, even if you're not getting married. Warmer weather  often comes with a mailbox stuffed full of save-the-dates and wedding invites, not to mention invitations to showers, engagement parties and bachelor/bachelorette festivities. Aside from the fact that you only have a limited number of weekends this summer, wedding season can be incredibly expensive, particularly if you're at an age where many of your friends are getting married. Dresses, engagement gifts, travel, hotels, wedding presents... multiply this by five or ten, and the cost of wedding season quickly spirals out of control.

Keeping Costs Down as a Guest or Attendant

If you're smart about costs and do a little advanced planning, you can keep the cost of wedding season relatively low. Consider the following tips:

• Find a great, inexpensive wedding gift, and buy it in bulk.Your wedding gift doesn't have to be on the couple's registry, and many newly married couples will appreciate a thoughtful, stylish gift you've picked out yourself. If you find a great gift on sale--say, a set of travel candles, a beautiful framed print or a pretty serving tray--buy and wrap several of them. You may get a discount for buying in bulk, and you'll reduce the "it's-the-day-before-the-wedding-and-I-don't-have-a-gift" stress. You can also find discount (but still stylish!) wedding cards and wrapping paper online.

• Buy a simple, versatile summer wedding dress or suit. A simple dress or light-colored suit can be dressed up or down for spring and summer weddings. This can be a lifesaver if you're attending multiple weddings with different "dress codes."

• Coordinate with other friends and family going to the wedding. Coordinating with other guests can help keep costs low. Carpool to the ceremony and reception, and if possible, choose someone to drive home rather than spending a night in a hotel. Go in together on a gift. If you spend the night in a hotel, consider booking a multi-room suite, which is often less expensive than individual rooms.

• Don't feel guilty saying no. With many engagements come engagement parties and gift registries, bridal showers and gift registries, bachelorette parties and rounds of drinks... and the list goes on. If you get an invitation and you can't--or simply don't want to--attend, contact the bride, maid of honor or best man directly. Express excitement for the wedding and wish them well. You don't have to give an excuse or feel guilty declining an invitation.

• Asked to be in a wedding? Being in a wedding, particularly if you have to buy a bridesmaid dress or tuxedo and help pay for the bachelorette or bachelor party, can be very expensive. If it's a common brand and style, you may be able to find the bridesmaid dress secondhand online or in a bridal shop. If you're on a limited budget, talk to the best man or maid of honor about ways you can contribute other than writing a check. They may ask you to bake for the shower or help organize the bachelor party.

Great Expectations

Making summer travel plans? Might want to hold off on those if you know that one of your close buddies or relatives is about to send out a "Save the Date" card. Typically these are sent out six to nine months in advance if it is a destination wedding with a lot of out-of-towners, and three to six months in advance if most of the attendees will be local. If you want to make plans but haven't yet received a save-the-date you're expecting, it's perfectly OK to call the couple getting married to see if they've decided on a date.

Wedding Season: You Will Survive!

If you start to recieve an overwheming amount of wedding invitations, make a list of people getting married and then form an attendance hierarchy, placing the wedding you are most likely to attend at the top and then go through in descending order, with the last being one you would not attend. If you prioritize wedding ceremonies and then balance with your work schedule and budget, you will find there's a limit to the weddings you can (or want to) attend, and it will be much easier to answer "no" on several of those RSVPs.