Comedian Brick Andrews observes that "anniversary inflation" can get newlyweds in trouble after only a few years. Drunk with love, you get your spouse that diamond necklace she's always wanted for your first wedding anniversary… only to realize that you're expected to outdo that gift on each subsequent anniversary celebration.
Andrews recommends a pair of athletic socks for a first anniversary gift, moving up to a paperback by the fifth. Although that's not a reliable route to domestic bliss, wedding gift etiquette follows a similar pattern.
For each anniversary you and your spouse are together, there's an option for both an old-fashioned and a modern traditional gift.
If you're a traditionalist, buy paper for your first anniversary--a hand-drawn picture or poem, perhaps a first edition of your spouse's favorite book. Buy clocks or plastic for a modern approach on the traditional--consider an upgrade to your bedroom alarm clock.
Cotton is the traditional gift for this anniversary--for example new sheets or a "World's Greatest Wife" t-shirt. Another traditional option is fine china, ranging from a simple flower vase to full service.
Traditional gifts for this anniversary are leather, while glass or crystal are the modern choices. Choose from leather jackets, desk sets, luggage and handbags, or wine glasses, beer pints, picture frames or stained glass.
On your fourth wedding anniversary, buy fruit and flowers if you're feeling traditional, silk and nylon if you're feeling modern. Traditional choices include bouquets, fruit baskets and live plants. Lingerie or clothing is the popular modern choice. Appliances are an alternative modern fourth wedding anniversary gift, giving you an excuse to replace that ailing washing machine.
Wood serves as both the modern and traditional gift for this anniversary. You can buy all manner of wood gifts for your spouse, including furniture, jewelry boxes, picture frames, live plants and wooden puzzles. Handy couples might opt for woodworking tools.
If you're feeling traditional, buy candy for your sweetie on this anniversary. Decorative cast iron, or iron cookware, is the modern equivalent. You can double up with candy in a cast-iron decorative basket.
The traditional gift for this year is copper or wool. You can buy fine wool clothing and blankets, or decorative copper hangings, desk tools and cookware. Buy brass for the modern approach--often the same objects you might find in copper.
Bronze works for modern and traditional gifts when celebrating your eighth year together. Like other metals, look for decorations and tools made or worked in with bronze. Pottery is the traditional accompaniment--either genuine stoneware or simply replacing your now-aging dinner dishes. Buy another new appliance for the modern accompaniment, maybe in a bronze color scheme.
Buy pottery paired with willow--perhaps willow wands in a fine pottery vase--for the traditional anniversary gift, pottery on its own for the modern approach.
For your first decade together, the traditional choices are anticlimactic: tin for traditionalists, aluminum for the modern. Jewelry, storage, wall hangings and photo frames are all good choices…especially if you pair them with a sentimental memory.
Steel is both the traditional and modern gift for your eleventh wedding anniversary. Though this may not feel very romantic, it's an opportunity to celebrate your spouse's hobby: Gardening tools, fishing gear, sewing equipment and scrapbooking scissors are all made out of steel.
Whether you're a traditionalist or a modernist, your twelfth anniversary is for silk and linen. This can mean replacing your bed sheets, but silk flowers and luxurious clothing are more decadent options.
Lace is your choice for this anniversary, which might mean lingerie or a new dress for your sweetie. If that's not your thing, you can opt for curtains, placemats and other home décor.
After fourteen years together, ivory is the traditional wedding gift. Although new ivory is illegal, you can still buy antiques or imitation. Most folks opt for the modern alternative: gold.
The traditional gift for this anniversary is crystal, with glass as its modern counterpart. A new set of Champagne flutes or other stemware is one option, as would be a decorative mirror--or a glass bottle containing a favorite beverage.
At the two decade mark, china shows up again as both your traditional and modern choice. You can add fine items to your collection, or simply upgrade from what you could afford 18 years ago.
One-quarter century together marks your "silver anniversary," and you celebrate it with a gift of its namesake metal. This can mean jewelry, decorations, flatware… even a trip to a country or region famous for its silver work.
If you've been together for thirty years, you're looking at pearl for modern and traditional spousal gifts. This usually means jewelry--a necklace for wife, cuff links for husband--but you can find decorations in pearl or mother-of-pearl.
Coral is the traditional gift for this anniversary, with jade as the modern alternative. You can go with jewelry or decoration, but a trip to the seaside or the orient is just as appropriate--and far more memorable.
For the big "four-oh," get your beloved rubies--or garnet, a similarly red stone. If you're on a budget, buy red glassware or artwork to represent this expensive gem.
Sapphires are the traditional and modern gift for this respectable anniversary. As with the rubies, you can opt for jewelry and décor laid with this gem… or go with glassware and other decorations in deep blue.
Celebrate your "golden anniversary" with gifts of gold: gold jewelry, golden memories, and decorations inlaid with the Midas touch. One popular celebration is to restore your half-century-old wedding rings, complete with a ceremony where you renew your vows in front of your friends, family, children and grandchildren.
Seventy-five years marks your diamond anniversary, whether you're a traditionalist or not. Celebrate this rare accomplishment with jewelry worthy of what it represents.