I married my best friend almost 27 years ago, while we spent most of those 27 years living in the same house under the same roof, much of that time we spent apart. We both had busy jobs and Bill always worked long hours. Sundays and one week of vacation a year is about the only real time we spent with each other.

As our retirement fast approaches, my thoughts of getting to spend lots of time with my best friend, every day, all day sounds exciting. I picture us getting up at our leisure, enjoying breakfast together, taking a morning walk on the beach. Hold up!!! Those thoughts quickly disappear and I think to myself, “are we going to like being around each other all the time"? Can we survive marriage and retirement?

Retirement can be a time that couples look forward to, a chance to renew their relationship. But it can also add new stresses to a relationship. Couples need to prepare for the mental and emotional changes that may come with retirement. Couples who have always had marital problems or unhappy with their relationship are likely to continue having problems. Spending more time together will probably not make it better.  

Tips for Preparing Your Marriage for Retirement

  1. Keep communications open. Communication is very important in preparing for retirement. Talk about retirement goals before you actually retire.
  2. Plan to have personal time on your own. Understand that it is important to remain independent of your partner.
  3. Support and help each other if one partner gets depressed after retirement.
  4. Divide up household chores. If one spouse has been doing the majority of the household chores, it is important to now divide those up.
  5. Stay intimate, flirt with each other and plan date nights.   

How did retirement affect your marriage? What makes it work?

Photo: Debra Milstead